Shared Living Profile: Julie Morse

Before Cheri Hardiman approached Nonotuck about supporting her sister, Julie Morse, through Shared Living, the family was facing a crisis. Julie, 60, had moved through several Group Homes and Shared Living arrangements that hadn’t worked out. While her latest provider gave adequate notice, the hosting agency could not immediately identify an alternative provider.

Julie was self-harming and struggling on many levels. She had lost a dangerous amount of weight since leaving Cheri’s home in 2016; compounding the problem, she was regressing in skills she had long since mastered.

Her primary care physician and family believed that she was failing to thrive. Between this and her already long list of health challenges, she actually qualified for palliative care. Hospice was even a consideration.

Referred by disability rights advocate and Nonotuck community member Cheryl Ryan Chan, Cheri contacted Nonotuck. She first spoke with President and CEO George H. Fleischner, then Vice President of Residential Services Debra Schnare and, finally, Dylan Zukowski, program director in Nonotuck’s Auburn office.

“They connected us with Dylan, who was equally delightful. He had his team, and we met every single member of that team—I’m not kidding. Before Julie moved in, we met every member of the team: the recruiter, case manager, nurse, clinician, and Dylan,” Cheri says. “In one month, they knew what she needed and offered us three different placements, which is unheard of. I know how long things take. The wheels of social services move painfully slowly.”

“Nonotuck recognized it as the emergency it was and responded in a way I never thought possible,” she continues. “I am deeply appreciative of the entire team that put this together.”

Within that month, Dylan and the Auburn team found what Cheri describes as an extraordinary match: a Worcester home with Shared Living Provider Prudence Nabagasera and housemate Terri.

“When I tell you things moved fast, I was in a state of shock. Within those 30 days, Julie was not only placed, she was placed in the very best residential setting of her life—beyond what even I provided as family,” Cheri says. “It is the most perfect placement. I keep pinching myself to make sure I’m not dreaming.”

The positive effects were almost immediate. Within two weeks of moving in with Prudence and Terri, Julie began gaining weight, eventually surpassing 100 pounds. Julie had always loved food but had lost a great deal of enthusiasm for it before moving in with Prudence. Prudence and Terri helped rekindle that enthusiasm with fresh, high-quality meals—and Julie loves watching them cook.

Cheri believes Julie can taste the love put into those meals and experiences that love in all that happens with Prudence and Terri. Julie is happy and regularly joins Prudence and Terri for community outings and extended-family events. She is quickly regaining some of her lost skills. “They offer her a degree of stimulation I didn’t know was possible. Julie thrives on that,” Cheri says. “She loves community, shopping, going out to eat, adventures, day trips—she’s a high-stimulation person.”

At home, Julie, Terri, and Prudence enjoy listening to music and dancing. Julie especially loves the Beatles and Elton John. They also go out to dinner, take walks, and embark on day trips throughout New England. Along the way, Prudence keeps Cheri connected through regular text messages and photos.

“They send me pictures that move me to tears,” Cheri says. “I haven’t seen Julie that happy in more than ten years.”

Just as important, Julie is given opportunities to make her own decisions with the right amount of support. Rather than making choices for her, Prudence and Terri look for ways to give Julie a voice and express her preferences in ways that honor her autonomy. They understand that non-verbal is not non-communicative, and they strive always to understand what she is expressing.

One example came when Prudence wanted Julie to have a chair in her bedroom where she could sit while getting dressed. Instead of simply purchasing one, Prudence took Julie to a local furniture store and let her try every chair she wanted. Cheri remembers receiving a series of text messages showing Julie testing them out. Some she clearly didn’t enjoy. Others she seemed to tolerate. Then she found one that brought a smile to her face.

Prudence bought that chair. It was a small decision that reflected something much larger: Julie’s preferences mattered, and her home should reflect her choices.

“They are enormously respectful of her dignity and her choices,” Cheri says. “To me, that’s the core of who Nonotuck is—that deep respect and dignity for all people. Prudence and Terri embody that every single day.”